(via Poly in Pictures - 59. Comfort Zone)
pretty much…
Day 2: When did you first realize you were non-monogamous? What was that experience like?
When I originally started dating seriously in my teens, I was a serial monogamist. When I reached adulthood, ruined one relationship for another, and ended up across the country from my previous life with too much time to think, I started wondering whether I had been doing things wrong.
A and I got into light BDSM, which led to finding Fetlife. Always a trove of information, we started talking about a lot of things we read there, including various forms of non-monogamy. As time went on, we had a few mild encounters, continued talking, other stuff happened, and we ended up on the decision that neither of us was being fulfilled by physical encounters lacking any emotion. Which led to polyamory.
Then, more discussion, I propositioned B, more discussion with both parties, and here we are.
Day 1: Describe the type of non-monogamous relationship you have? You can use an existing category or make up your own!.
We are a V-shaped polyamorous triad. Basically, I am married to A, and am also in a serious emotional/physical relationship with B. Neither are involved with anyone else at the moment, and aren’t involved with each other. B is mono as I’ve said before, and thus I don’t expect him to ever really seek outside relationships [though he can, of course], but I hope that A will find a lovely woman sometime in the near future.
mostlynotwork’s 14 Day Non-monogamy challenge:
Day 1: Describe the type of non-monogamous relationship you have? You can use an existing category or make up your own!.
Day 2: When did you first realize you were non-monogamous? What was that experience like?.
Day 3: Describe the best and worst experiences you’ve had coming out to people about being non-monogamous..
Day 4: How do you feel about your non-monogamy? Honestly….
Day 5: How did your family react? (or how do you think they will react?).
Day 6: What does marriage mean to you?.
Day 7: What do you think about hierarchical non-monogamy? (e.g. having relationships that are primary v secondary).
Day 8: A favorite picture, song or video you associate with non-monogamy..
Day 9: Threesomes, foursomes, moresomes… What’s your view?.
Day 10: What involvement have you had with any groups or organizations?.
Day 11: The stupidest argument or comment you’ve heard about non-monogamy?.
Day 12: Your favorite Non-monogamous blog/tumblr/site?.
Day 13: Write a letter to someone. It can be a coming out letter or a letter regarding how you hate their homophobia or whatnot. You don’t have to send it?.
Day 14: Anything Non-monogamous you’d like to end this on!.
Abortion. Cancelled. Firefly.
I believe abortion designed the new Tumblr layout and the new Netflix layout.
Abortion also leaves the toilet seat up, puts the empty milk carton back in the fridge and doesn’t wipe its feet.
Abortion borrowed 50 bucks from me and never paid me back.
Abortion always sets my alarm for early on weekend mornings.
Abortion didn’t come to my birthday party. Didn’t even rsvp to my evite.
Abortion said they’d call, but I’m still waiting by the phone.
Abortion made me wear wet socks.
Abortion finished the last of the coffee and didn’t tell me.
Brief Commentary on the Poly/Mono Issue
K, so I just saw a chart outline various relationship types under the non-monogamous umbrella. Most of it made sense, but one section bugged me. It listed Poly/Mono, with the examples of Hugh Hefner and the Playboy mansion, and a person claiming to be poly/mono, but without the wife’s knowledge. The second really bugs me, because it implies that it’s impossible to have a truly open, honest relationship between a poly person and mono person. And the fact that many poly folks seem to think it can’t work either, just adds to it.
B is mono, as I’ve said before. He’s free to choose otherwise of course, but he has no interest in doing so. Maybe it’s because we have a history already, but he’s completely accepting of having a relationship with me, despite it not being mono. We’re very big on communicating, and he tells me when there are issues. Contrary to what most other folks would likely think, it actually works very well. We’re both very happy, our needs are being met, and it just feels right.
So yeah, we’re a poly/mono couple, who are open and honest, and it works.
Maybe not, but that doesn’t justify infidelity…
According to the article linked in this post (among others), research suggests monogamy may be outdated. Just because more and more people have admitted to infidelity and have accepted it as “okay” doesn’t mean us old fashioned people are…
Polyamory is NOT infidelity! Not even close. A true poly relationship is completely open and honest between ALL partners. Most poly relationships hold their members to at least as high a standard as mono ones - and take lying and sneaking around as a huge breach of trust. Cheating is cheating, whether you have one partner or many.
